Writing - part 2 still not really about writing

 Sigh... Where was I? 

Visions of us-

Sitting across the table from him, he is annoyed by how I cut meat, so he took over, I don't care, I like to watch him, my sexy man. 

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Exercising together.

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And dancing, always dancing....

I cannot dance, not really, not well. It's a thing with my leg, my balance is off.

So when I go to write, as I was saying, I get distracted by all the visions in my mind and go off on a whole other subject. 

Plus, I'm not really sure that it's TIME yet. Like, I know it's near, planets aligning and all that, and if it's not quite Time, then the words won't come out correctly. 

I wonder if I should expect to like suddenly just be divinely inspired to start typing out the whole thing all at once? Like my eyes will light up and my fingers start typing at break neck speed pouring out the whole thing all at once. BOOM!

I mean that's kinda what happened, that one night, back in 2011/2012, but I didn't tell it all to that writer. And I doubt that my eyes lit up. 

Ok, a little over a decade ago, I was suddenly and unexpectedly sad, like I was mourning the loss of my soulmate, whom I hadn't met. I woke in the middle of the night and got on some website that I don't usually use, and posted something. A writer saw my post, and responded, like immediately. I poured out everything I was seeing and feeling. Then I forgot. He messaged the next day, and several more times, and after each I forgot. I tried to remember, but the thought would drift away. But each time I typed the messages to him, it was like something taking over, not completely, not like possessed or anything, just like I had to write it THEN. Something was going on with my guy that threatened the entire multiverse. If I hadn't written those things and made contact then, there would be no universe now. It was a whole big thing at the time. I was massive news world wide and in every language. Time reset. You shouldn't remember, but if you do, I'd love to know what you recall? I was told there were crowds of people, all stopping to watch my story on every screen. 

Honestly, I don't like attention. That whole thing was just odd to me. That's one reason everyone should have forgotten that, well almost everyone.

 Writing it all down is too hard to do when the images flash so quickly and then float away again. And there is so very much of it! 

The book is kinda on pause for the moment. It doesn't make sense as is, I can't organize the files, I don't like the outline, and I'm stuck. 

Going by the outline I'm supposed to skip 3 decades, and some very important scenes and facts and ignore the timeline.

I'm supposed to be working on basically what led up to the end of the universe. Which is fine, I can tell you so many things about that, but they didn't all happen in this timeline. 

I saw/lived through so many realities, so many things set it off, but always it was basically the same thing. 

With all of those realities stuck in my head, all disconnected from each other, well a sequential timeline is hard to pin down. 

I'm trying.