Writing - the process (plus a bit about the Actor)

 I've been trying to write a book for a few years now, and it's not easy. 

I have these massive headaches and overwhelming tinnitus. It swells up when I go to write anything, but it's worse when I use the laptop. 

When I try to focus on the subject that SHOULD come next in the story I get this loud buzzing and ringing that seems like it vibrates my whole head. 

I try to write what should be next, and I end up writing a whole different scene. Not always a new scene, mind you, just a different one than what I was trying to do. 

I feel as though I shouldn't maybe write the personal things, keep them private, just my own; but, I also feel as though I am meant to write all that I remember. 

It's hard to remember the beginning, the things that happened BEFORE the universe ended. There was so very much all at once, and it wasn't pleasant. 

I bumped my head, later that week there was a red wave, suddenly everyone was different, less kind, there was a talk show, a demigod, and the actor that played The Doctor. 

I could go on and on about him. Gorgeous he was! Bright shiny penny. He was from another reality, really. 

The one from this reality is much different. Still GORGEOUS. Seems kinder now, somehow. I mean, I KNOW how, but I'm not quite sure how I had that power. 

I still expect him to be a grumpy old man now and then. 

The visions I have of him... He's upset over this or that and he paces as he rants, it makes me smile to see him passionate about these things, but I always make sure to stay clear when he starts waving his arms about, his wingspan is quite huge.