Random thoughts from The Rhea

 Sigh... Where was I?  Visions of us- Sitting across the table from him, he is annoyed by how I cut meat, so he took over, I don't care, I like to watch him, my sexy man.  - Exercising together. - And dancing, always dancing.... I cannot dance, not really, not well. It's a thing with my leg, my balance is off. So when I go to write, as I was saying, I get distracted by all the visions in my mind and go off on a whole other subject.  Plus, I'm not really sure that it's TIME yet. Like, I know it's near, planets aligning and all that, and if it's not quite Time, then the words won't come out correctly.  I wonder if I should expect to like suddenly just be divinely inspired to start typing out the whole thing all at once? Like my eyes will light up and my fingers start typing at break neck speed pouring out the whole thing all at once. BOOM! I mean that's kinda what happened, that one night, back in 2011/2012, but I didn't tell it all to that writer. And...

 I've been trying to write a book for a few years now, and it's not easy.  I have these massive headaches and overwhelming tinnitus. It swells up when I go to write anything, but it's worse when I use the laptop.  When I try to focus on the subject that SHOULD come next in the story I get this loud buzzing and ringing that seems like it vibrates my whole head.  I try to write what should be next, and I end up writing a whole different scene. Not always a new scene, mind you, just a different one than what I was trying to do.  I feel as though I shouldn't maybe write the personal things, keep them private, just my own; but, I also feel as though I am meant to write all that I remember.  It's hard to remember the beginning, the things that happened BEFORE the universe ended. There was so very much all at once, and it wasn't pleasant.  I bumped my head, later that week there was a red wave, suddenly everyone was different, less kind, there was a talk show...